Category: Uncategorized

World Exclusive: The Poster For The Upcoming Kardashian Wedding Movie

  Finally…The Movie The Whole World Has Waited For…72 Days In The Making…Not In 3-D                   [adsenseyu2] more

Treat Or Treating Safety Tips For The Kids

Go with a group of friends and stay together. If you have no friends, find some on Craig’s List. Don’t forget to bring your iPad to keep track of your candy haul. If invited into someone’s house, do NOT go. If they keep asking, spray them with your Pumpkin-Scented Mace. Wear a reflector or bring […] more

Random Friday

  I just signed up for a great new plan from Netflix. It’s called The “Get As Many Movies As You Want At One Time Because You Are One Of Our 3 Remaining Customers” Plan. Isn’t it ironic… Michael Jackson died taking drugs to help him sleep. Meanwhile, his trial is so boring it would […] more

Old Proverbs: Updated For Today’s Economy

  Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched. (2011) Don’t count your severance before it’s actually in your bank account. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. (2011) A little knowledge is the only requirement for CEO. Great minds think alike. (2011) Great minds are forced to drive cabs to make ends meet. Home is […] more

The Latest Bumper Stickers Praising Our Kids

        “My daughter went outside to play twice last month” “My son bombed on the SAT’s… but finished all levels of “Call of Duty” “My daughter went a whole month without sexting” “My son made All-County in Little League… and was NOT one of the kids molested by the coach” “Baby On […] more

The Last Will and Testament of Moammar Khadafy

To My Son Saif al-Islam: I know you are on the run, so I leave to you my extensive sneaker collection, including hundreds of vintage Air Jordans. Enjoy! To My Wife: You get nothing. All you ever did was nag me: “You need to mow the lawn.” “Take out the garbage.” “What kind of outfit is […] more

Random Friday

Occupy Wall Street has turned into a little city, with a library, haircutters, even gourmet chefs donating their time to cook for the protestors. I was going to go down there tonight to support the cause but I’m not in the mood for pecan crusted salmon The protestors in Los Angeles have something those in […] more

Moammar Khadafy on Twitter: A Timely Post From The Past

Every time I see a headline describing someone as “mentally unstable”, I’m not quite sure if they are referring to me or Charlie Sheen. I wish someone would open a Carvel store in Libya. I love their ice cream! “Muammar Gaddafi” “Muammar Gadaffi” “Moammar Khadafy” “Muammar Qaddafi” “Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi” Hey people of the press, […] more

More Scrabble Controversies

…and that wasn’t the only controversy at the tournament. Other players did the following: Stole the letters “S” and “E” and “X,” explaining “I wanted to have sex in my pants.” Claimed the the word “BOGGLE” is not allowed because it is the name of a rival game. Took a blank tile and drew a […] more

(Almost) Everything You Wanted To Know About Starbucks

Last week, for the first time in my life, I went to Starbucks to use their Wi-Fi. Some observations: Starbucks Drink Sizes Explained??? Tall:  Didn’t “tall” used to mean “tall?” Grande:  The only time I will every order anything with the word “grande” in it is when I am at Taco Bell. Venti: Venti in […] more